Last time I made breakfast for Haines, I made him an egg-white "omelette" with onion, mushroom, cheese, and turkey bacon. Sounds delicious and simple, no? OH HOW WRONG YOU ARE. In retrospect I should have called it a "frittata." This would still have been a lie, but at least a frittata is not expected to maintain, like, a half-moon shape. Or to not disintegrate when you try to fold it. What I made him resembled ... lichen. You know, the grey-green mossy stuff that grows on rocks in wet places. Or maybe it resembled fungus. Whatever, I learned this:
1. Egg whites don't hold together especially well
2. ... if the ratio of dense filling to egg is high
3. ... and there's not a lot of binding agent (aka cheese)
Anyway it was not a pretty shape and it fell apart about six times and the egg whites turned the color of old socks and if I could have blindfolded him I would have. However, he gamely ate it and even pretended it didn't taste like dirt (I know he was lying, though, because MUSHROOMS TASTE LIKE THE GROUND). Then, recently, I was working on my apps and he wandered into the kitchen and casually made me THIS:
It's an iPhone pic so it's not a great image, but suffice to say there was wild mushroom rice, skillet-seared tomatoes, fresh-chopped herbs, and black beans, plus the actual, perfectly-browned and beautifully-presented omelette. I really don't know why I'm posting about this except to say ... I know who's doing the cooking in this relationship from now on.
p.s. Then he peeled an asian pear with a knife in only 2 curls. wtf. my best record is like ... 12. I'm just going with grapes from here on out.
5 comments:
i think your omlette sounds delicious and i love dirt-y mushrooms. grey and i eat 2 of those 8oz containers of mushrooms a week.
agreed with the above. i would eat your omelette anyday...presentation and fancy schmancy ingredients are overrated anyways.
You guys are super loyal, but just trust: his tasted better. Although I'm glad you'd eat mine bc that's what you're getting if you guys come over.
i really can't peel fruit or make an omelette. i use a vegetable peeler and my mom. this prob explains a lot of my problems.
omgosh i JUST realized that (white) ppl use vegetable peelers to peel fruit this year! and now i do it and its awesome and i never try with a knife now.
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