Beautiful People

Yeah, so this is basically filler/fluff and there's not enough of it to warrant separate posts. Instead I present to you: two kinds of people/characters I like. 1. Peppery Old Men. And, yes, I do mean like-like, the kind of like that includes braid-pulling on the playground if you're in, say, 3rd grade. Witness: Jon Stewart of The Daily Show. My deep and abiding love, nay, one might even say fangirl-dom for this sexy genius is well-documented. Jon Stewart may well be my perfect man. He's intimidatingly smart and knowledgable about the world, cuttingly sarcastic, and has that fantastic salt-and-pepper hair. Rrrawr. He's quick on his feet on his show, and good at defusing the often-tense political arguments that sometimes arise. True, he's also prone to going all soft and starry-eyed when a politician he admires is on the show (see: Bill Clinton, Tony Blair), but as a fangirl I am able to recategorize this behavior as adorable. Plus if he were sitting across an interviewing table from me I would probably also lob a couple of softball questions at him, gaze into his eyes, and call it a day. Those of you who know me are aware that intellect and sarcasm are to me as catnip is to a kitty cat. Add to the mix that he is adorably married and has darling kids and I can safely say: Jon, call me. I will do anything for you. Anything. Hugh Laurie/Gregory House of House, M.D. I just started watching House pretty recently and he is one hot old dude. Yes, I do recognize that House himself is just a character, but once again you see how biting sarcasm, extreme intellect & competence, and that grizzled beard combine into ... yum. (Also apparently I have a predilection for jerks, which he is, and deep personal scars, which he has.) There are definitely other grizzled old men who I think are hot, but I'm putting them on the back burner for now so that I can present to you ... 2. Biznitches Who Get Sh*t Done. Blair Waldorf of Gossip Girl. She's freaking gorgeous, polished & put together, and she has a plan to take over the world (or at least the UES). I don't actually watch this show on any kind of steady basis, but in addition to having the most amazing costumers ever, every time I pass Gossip Girl on t.v. this chick appears to be sizing up the situation, narrowing her lushly-lashed eyes, and then taking control of it with ruthless efficiency. Also, she has the guy cast as the Devious Male Lead whipped into a bundle of brokenhearted insecurities, which is quite an accomplishment considering he's supposed to so heartless and Machieavellian that he started the show by attempting to rape the Sensitive Male Lead's little sister. And while I know there are people who lo-o-o-o-ve Serena, to me she's just kind of ... blonde and boring. The show tries to intimate that she has this crazy, Ima-cut-a-b*tch past, but I've yet to see a scene where she could convince me that if you put her and Blair in a prison together Blair wouldn't be the one running the show when you opened the gates a month or two later. Joan Holloway of Mad Men. If you don't watch Mad Men ... that will make you one of about a bizillion other people who don't. And, uh, I'm sort of one of them: I haven't seen all of the first season, but what I've seen of Season 2 makes me love Joan. She's the office manager at Sterling Cooper, the advertising firm where the show's main characters work, and she controls the secretarial assignments (this is set in the '60s). She is very curvy and has insane style, and knows how to make her body work for her (the office boys are always going all tongue-tied and stammering in her presence). More than that, she's also extremely savvy; there are a lot of office power plays and politics at Sterling Cooper, and the office staff/secretarial pool is very much a part of that. She lives in a time where her options are limited, but she is in complete control of all of her assets and she knows how to turn situations to the advantage of herself and those she wants to benefit. President Laura Roslin of Battlestar Galactica. Well, look, there are going to be a couple of BSG characters on these lists. Deal with it, OK? (Suggestion: Deal with it by watching it. Become a fan, it'll do you good.) President Laura Roslin is awesome for a number of reasons: 1) she was the Secretary of Education before an attack on her homeworld wiped out the 42 other cabinet members in line for the presidency before her; 2) despite that, she still managed to keep the civilian government/rule of law and the military in balance when humanity got cut down to about 50,000 survivors; and 3), all this while she battles breast cancer. She can be heart-stoppingly cold and ruthless, and almost inhuman at times, but she's smart, ballsy, and unflinching, and she gets the job done. Plus she's nicknamed President "Airlock" Roslin by fans of this show (which is fantastic. You should watch it. No, really), which tells you something. An airlock, for those of you who aren't aware, is chamber with two doors that allows people or objects to pass between environments with different air pressures, temperatures, etc., like from a submarine into water, or a spaceship into vacuum. Roslin has a predilection for threatening to airlock, i.e., jettison out into space, people who she finds threatening to the safety of Galatica or humanity. Watching her get all steely-eyed and tough-jawed and threatening is sort of ridiculously awesome. 3. Tasty Men I was also going to gift you with a pictorial of characters & men I find tasty for various reasons (who ... uh ... didn't fit into the peppery & old category), but I'm tired so it'll have to wait. Sorry. But here are some names to tide you over: Don Draper. Matt Damon (as Jason Bourne). Daniel Craig. Tahmoh Penikett. (RAWR.)